Loading ...Gender, Shopping and Frugality
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Reader Claire wrote me and passed along some of her observations.
“I don’t mean to instigate another contentious debate between the sexes, but my impression is that frugal living is more difficult for women than our counterparts. Perhaps it isn’t true, but women, on average, tend to spend more on personal grooming products, even when sticking to the basics. Women who shave must spend more time in the shower. And we do use more toilet paper.“
Based on what I see around me it does appear that way Claire. Woman seem to shop more than men do; however I wonder if that isn’t because woman make more of the buying decisions on average for food, clothing, children’s upkeep, etcetera, then men do.
Of course there are always exceptions to the rule and I will get into that later.
“One blogger posted a list of the things he does to save money…and one item said something to the effect of, “I look ugly,” meaning he cuts his own hair and wears the same clothing frequently. Quite a few women commented that this particular tip didn’t appeal to them–but could they get away with it if it did? From personal experience, I say no.
A few years ago, I started a new job around the same time I initiated a weight-loss regimen. My “professional” wardrobe was sparse to begin with, but I deemed it a waste of money to buy new clothes, since my body shape and size were changing as a result of a healthier lifestyle. I wore the same items, mixing and matching when possible, but my co-workers noticed. And I was the recipient of at least one snarky comment, in front of several people. Then I consider a family member. He has also embraced the simplicity movement. Every time I see him, he wears the same gray, button-down shirt. I hear he does that at the office, too, but with different ties.”
I think this will vary based on your job requirement (or unspoken requirements). My room-mate and I cut each other hair and have for many years, I have also worn the same outfit multiple times and no one has said anything, and I think this may have to do with the people that I work with who also wear many of the same clothes and try to make ends meet, thereby having a limited income as well (both men and women). They aren’t trying to impress anyone.
“Also, men’s dress clothing, unlike women’s, tends to be more timeless. A man can easily get away with a 15-year old jacket and tie–in fact, he’ll probably get compliments for dressing up! Where I live, a woman wearing a skirt/suit she bought in 1993 would be laughed off the subway in the morning.
Granted, the stereotype dictates that men spend more money on gadgets, but I see no disparity between the numbers of both men AND women with iPods at the gym, and homes with flat-screen TV’s.“
I agree with this as well, in the clothing area, men appear to have it easier for cost/longer lasting clothing. Though my Mom may not like it, this is one reason why I like buying guys clothes, it is cheaper and last longer (probably because it doesn’t go out of style, as Claire said). Of course I have NEVER been a girly-girl; the last dress I wore was for my high school graduation.
One thing I notice is that men are not brought up to be shoppers in the sense that women will spend time looking around. Men get in the store, get what they need and get out. This alone can save them money on impulse buys.
Clare added,
“..it is common knowledge that, on average,women make less money. Since women are the primary buyers, one would think that it would behoove the powers-that-be to provide adequate financial resources to meet this standard, doesn’t it? And yet, thereward for contributing to the economy is less money.”
I am usually an exception to these rules, though I do most of the buying in the house, I am more like a guy in the sense that I have to get in and get out. I can’t stand mozying around a store or getting sidetracked. I guess there will always be exceptions.
What are you all seeing as a general rule of thumb, are you seeing that men can live frugally easier than women, or is this a misconception?
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Thanks for this.
One of my frugal moves has been to not cut my hair at all (not even a trim in 19 years). It started as an anthropological experiment to see human hair in its most natural (though combed) form. After a couple of years I noticed that NO ONE CARED. People are generally accepting of long hair and don’t seem to notice split ends and whatnot. Of course, I don’t work in the fashion industry, I have a job that includes a great deal of fieldwork and wearing hardhats. Even in the office and at professional meetings, very few of the women are girly.
Another thing, I’ve never worn makeup. I have never calculated what this has “saved” me (or “cost” others) over the years but I’m sure it’s significant.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:06 amMy mother used to care about these things, but now that I’m a successful professional with no debt, even she is getting used to it.
Interesting. Women (in general) DO like to shop, but they (in general) also love bargains. Men (in general) hate to shop, but they (in general) love to have the latest gadgets. These high-end items cost more but are bought less frequently.
I’m personally a freak as I’m a woman who HATES to shop.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:13 amMy husband, until the last few years, had low paying jobs while he attended college for his bachelors and master degrees, and needed to live very frugally. He’s VERY good at it. I have usually had the luxury of being able to spend more freely, and I’m not as good at spotting my bad spending habits since they’ve just become a part of me. But since we drastically cut our spending about year ago, I seem to be adjusting to the change a little better. From what I’ve read, women adapt better, and if we make the decision to be frugal, we can stick with it easier.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:58 am“Men get in the store, get what they need and get out.”
Some of us even buy clothes via mail order, and never go in the store. Dickies & Red Kap make excellent business clothes and they are machine washable, and lots of Web sites sell them so you can find competitive prices. If I spend more than $30 for pants and a business shirt, I’ve spent too much.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:01 amI think a lot depends on your job - my husband spends *slightly* more on clothes than me, because he has a paying job, i stay at home with kids. we all only have a few outfits each and wear them until they fall apart… no fear of still wearing a ten year old dress if you wear it every second day.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:34 pmSimilarly with shoes - we only have one pair per purpose (summer, winter, walking boots, runners). I dont wear makeup, and have a haircut once a year - you just have to stop caring about what other people think…not that they probably care as much as you think they do. I notice more and more marketing of beauty products to men now. I hate shopping too..even when its necessary stuff. One thing Ive noted about prices -which may impinge on men and womens spending differential- luxury items seem to be getting cheaper all the time, while the cost of essentials is rising. Ive noticed in the supermarket (junk food costs less than fresh/natural) but also its cheaper to buy a mobile phone etc than ever before. On this note I am also amazed by what people now call essentials -mobile phones and internet connections are a case in point (I now have one but not the other!)
interesting discussion
I too am a female outlier. I’ve worked in professional and relaxed environments and have gotten away with wearing the same thing over and over. I’ve never owned more than 5 work outfits and its usually two pairs of pants and about 5 types of tops. I don’t know if people pay attention or not, because I don’t listen. I’ve had coworkers with whom I was on friendly terms make comments about other women’s clothing choices…I think the exercise is a general waste of time…but I guess some people like to be entertained. I look neat and well groomed and make sure I don’t have B.O. I think that’s about all I care about.
I’ve been cutting my own hair for about a year now and no one has noticed or commented.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:43 pm@Jill
I think that if you haven’t cut your hair in 19 years, the length alone would distract people from noticing split ends, because that is dedication.
@Monica
We are similiar in that we are both “freak-y”
@Rick
That is pretty good for both pants and shirt
@Paula
I would agree that it does depend on what where you work. If bluejeans are ok for your job then it is possible to spend less then a more professional look.
@Beany
March 4th, 2008 at 2:00 pmOne more point for someone who cuts their own hair. And you are correct, the amount spent can be influenced by what we perceive others will think about us.
I think it’s just as easy for women to be frugal in clothes/grooming as men, it’s merely harder to fit in and be frugal.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:46 pmLike some of the other women who’ve commented, I don’t wear makeup. I do get regular haircuts (in a very wash & wear time-saving style) but I don’t spend money coloring it. I don’t care much about my appearance other than my clothing and my person being clean. My job has a relaxed attitude about clothing (almost anything goes) and we’re generally too busy to even notice what others are wearing, let alone care.
As for spending, I think my husband is more likely to spend than I am. I was raised in a frugal home, but he wasn’t. Compared to most people, his is quite frugal, but I still sometimes question his need/desire to spend money on things I think are unnecessary.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:45 pmOne thing I have noticed about men is that they don’t seem to mind spending a fortune on “toys” but then too they gripe and want to know why we spent so much on groceries or why the electric bill is so high!
March 5th, 2008 at 6:57 amIt’s really hard to identify the spendier of my husband and I. We make most decisions on how much we will spend together, and rarely spend more than a couple dollars without the others’ permission or a specific budget. We can trade spending roles easily.
I am generally better at making a dollar stretch, but am also more likely to purchase small, unecessary things (like expensive coffee drinks or lunch at work). We spend the same on clothes (he buys a few expensive things, I buy many cheap things), he spends more on gadgets - but is also home all day, while I use gadgets at work (and even a work-bought laptop at home) to accomplish the tasks I need to do.
I think in general women spend more, but save more too. Generally, women manage the money in families - judging by our Engaged Encounter class, where about 90% of the couples planned to have the woman manage the majority of the funds. A few couples planned to split the responsibility, and only ONE couple planned to have the man manage the funds (the wife acknowledged that she had a spending problem). Actual married couples seem to be more egalitarian, but still the woman seems to do most of the budgeting and buying. I think men just frequently aren’t taught how - the same blindspot society has that doesn’t teach them to do housework also fails to give them money management skills.
I also hate shopping
In and out for the win!
March 5th, 2008 at 10:20 pmWell, d’uh.
I don’t think this article says anything new. Men don’t bother with fashion and retail therapy (most of all at least) but they often have a dangerous fixation with very expensive gadgets. My bf wants a new, slimmer lcd tv while the one I bought years ago (flat, 16:9, great, not crappy!) still works fine. He now would like to buy another bike - an accessorized mountain bike. We live in a flat country.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:01 amHi Dawn, Love your site.
I am a woman who came of age in the feminist 60s/70. I wore no make-up grew my hair and/or cut it myself, wore secondhand clothes. I’ve never owned a new car in my life, and my house is about 90% decorated from thrifts.
Now, I get my hair profesionally cut, get massages, buy good skin care–all within my budget, certainly. It gives me pleasure. It makes me feel good. It’s healthy to my body and my self-esteem to honor myself this way. Period. It has nothing else to do with anyone else, it is truly all about me.
I still shop secondhand for clothes which is a nightmare if you have style and are of a “certain age”. Every so often I have to hold my nose and go to a real store. I like natural fibers and quality, in my area very hard to find either new or used. And I am hard-to-fit size, which makes it very difficult to find clothes or shoes used that don’t make me gag. I’ve never cared about what other people said. I care about how I feel. If this makes ME feel good, then I do it for myself. I do hate shopping, but I love looking at good design. PS: I still have never owned a new car.
I say, if you like how you look, that is your business. There is way too much judgement on either side of the fence.
Peace,
March 8th, 2008 at 3:35 pmThe Other Dawn
PS: If you’re a woman, frugal doesn’t have to mean ugly, mannish, frumpy, dowdy, polyester, etc. Style trumps money any day. And if you are comfortable with all of the above, as you perceive yourself, than more power to you!! The Other Dawn
March 8th, 2008 at 3:38 pmI wear thinnest make ups as possible. Use foundation, powder and eyelid color. Buy clothes from thrift stores if needed. Shop once a month for groceries. Cut my own hair with clipper. My hubby, on other hand, shops brand-new clothes if needed. Goes to barber to get his haircuts. I still look as good as he is! He can be spendthrift at times, but he likes expensive gadgets like any guys. Women are not necessarily expensive spenders.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:04 am